Daddy used to leave me on plastic seats,

while he got blasted in taverns up and down Peachtree.

I’d sit there for hours.

Sing Brandy like I was in the motherfucking shower.

Shit, you woulda thought I lost my dog.

And then he would come out with a cup to his mouth-

put his keys in the ignition, never mind my position

and drive off just like he was sober.

Not once did he think that shit over.

Jack Daniels was closer-all others imposers.

And nothing could keep them apart.

His liver forgave him,

but was too weak to save him.

Finally, what was meant to be came to be.

His only option became amputation.

But he couldn’t live with that stipulation.

He’d rather be dead.

At least that’s what he said,

with the glass still firm in his hand.

Right to the end, he thought Jack was his friend.

I wish he was a bigger man.

He held me tight and when he said bye that night,

I knew that his time was not long. He finally submitted.

That’s the day that he quit it.

No one called to tell me Jack had won.

When I heard he was gone,

he was already at home

in an urn on my grandmother’s mantle.

This is shit that I never took time out to handle.

I remember gin rummy

and his jokes that weren’t funny

and the times that we spent doing nothing.

He never worked.

His job was to flirt.

But he was smart enough to be something.

He dropped out of Howard to join the movement,

got lost in the mission when he found powdered soothing.

Hey, it is what it is.

He never went back to find what he lacked

and his life became his enslavement.

He lived in the minute,

took what life would give him.

Today is all he engaged in.

His women adored him

though most of them bored him,

he always had a place to lay his head.

In fact, I heard rumors

that at his funeral

women were fighting even though he was dead.

Shit, my Daddy was bad.

He read all the time,

had a brilliant mind,

though he never opted to use it.

Never once did I question his fatherly affection.

I just wish he noticed sometimes.

So daddy this poem is my last confession

to tell you that I‘ve made a final concession.

I choose to forgive you despite where we’ve been.

I can‘t live my life with out making these amends.

So if you ever questioned my daughterly affections,

rest in peace, my love still remains.

My only regret is that I can never forget

how much I wanted you to change.