Help

Fatigued, vexed, distressed, incensed

My world feels like a cyclone that won't end

My head is revolving and my hands can't even reach up to help brace it

What is this and why

Why does it have to be this hard

Why me…why me

Is my faith not strong enough

My praise no good

Have I caused you so much shame that I can't have any sunshine

You have all power in your hands

You can change the unchangeable

Why this warring in my inner man

Why me…why me

When do the battles cease

Why can't I stay on the road I am suppose to be on

Why is misery always at my door

You give me everything I need

And I find some way to muddle it

What is wrong with me

I say I try but am I really trying

My mind is perplexed

My posture is weak

My spirit is depleted

A part of me wants to give up so bad

But then another part is holding on for dear life

That's the warring I feel

Every time I want to say forget it…I can't

I try to not let the thoughts even enter my mind

I try not to leave myself open for this

I fail every time

I try and encourage myself because I have learned sometimes we must do it for ourselves

I thought I was growing in you

I thought

I know there are hills to climb and mountains to cast down

I know there are valleys to walk through

I know there are winds that will blow and waters that may not want to cease

I also know that you are the Alpha and Omega

My doubt does not sit in you…oh no

But in me

What is my destiny and why is it so hard to get there

I need to get out of this maze

I'm asking for help.

Amen.
Copyright ©2008 Antira Jackson