"I will love you with everything that I am,"

your tongue spills horrific and deceptive charm,

you never really gave a damn,
physical and psychological damage seem your harm.

Lies! Lies! Lies!

I'm sure you realize,

Tales! Tales! Tales!

Honesty, integrity, and trust gone so sickly sour and stale.

But, you took my hand, you walked with me,

and you showed me something every girl wants to see.

For once, you will listen to me, I have a story to tell,

it's about a "friend" who promised me beauty and acceptance, instead took me to hell.

You mind-fucked me and bound me to brutal silence,

while at your command, I subjected my body to torment, and slow,

suicidal violence.

You must know now that how you react, is no longer my concern,

your approval, your acceptance means nothing to me, in twist and turn.

So, I'll lead you to where you might be able to see,

what you so callously and mercilessly took from me.

I'm taking my life back, and whether you let go willingly does not matter,

I no longer have the heart or mind to give in to your senseless, warped banter.

A lot of people say I made this choice, that I'm doing this for attention,

when in all reality, you took everything that was mine, and of you, I became a mere extension.

So, Anorexia, dance and frolic whimsical and free,

now you, not me, are the ONLY disappointment I see.

You danced with me with no pangs of remorse or guilt,

now, I will show you the foundation on which self-love and acceptance is built.

You dipped me into the deep waters of despair,

where I met the threats of a sharks' soulless, hungry glare.

After a while, you made me incapable of an honest face,

I lied to protect you, I refused to let anyone invade your space.

I was barren, hollow of any quality of life, yet you kept me mesmerized and loyal,

even though the method to your madness left my heart damaged, my psyche soiled.

You frayed, ripped, and cut my heartstrings,

you set me up for the fall, and you clipped my wings.

You gauged out my once shining, truth-seeing eyes,

and trained them to see what would soon wither away to your chaotic little prize.

You came and conquered the darkest corners of my mind,

I never imagined the wretched consequences I'd find.

I waited patiently for change to follow insight,

but it was never enough, your bark, far less worse than your bite.

I found that you were nothing more than just a cheap, fraudulent scent,

breaking me,

forsaking me,

degrading me,

berating me,

invading me, and destroying me, you were hell-bent.

I had no control over my mind at all,

and if I gave in, you allowed me to violently fall.

You rendered me painstakingly numb,

this is bullshit! I waited for panic-stricken insanity to come.

I was blinded by your empty promises, it was too damn bright to see past,

you came, you saw, you scooped me up, then destroyed my mast.

I was feasting on your lies and devouring the pain,

don't you dare look to me to carry your blasphemous burden of blame.

You created the meticulous elimination of me from my own life,

I will no longer blame what I see in the mirror; only I can make this right.

For you, I bled,

for you, tears I shed.

You carried this out slowly, and painfully,

bruising me, corrupting me, draining me.

When you look in your own mirror, my sadistic foe,

you will see the true face of deviance, and all the victims you've come to know.

I stand firm, and this time, you won't make me move,

I suggest you walk away, you could be no further the fool.

I can now protect myself against your lies, we will never have reconcile,

game over, you lose, wrong number, abandon redial.

I felt every hunger pang, every rotting tooth, every leg cramp, like needle sticks,

that knot in my stomach, was your savage, monster kick.

The next time you invade me, you'll asphyxiate on your words, stumbling,

remembering how beautiful you said you'd make me, now crumbling.

My smile for smile,

offering guile for guile.

You're a disappointment, a miserable mistake,

what more from me can you take?

Nothing, I am now safe,

your crusade for control, your thirst for power, gone forever unslaked.

And, to think I once loved you.

Sleep tight, psychotic fantasist,

for me now, it cannot get any better than this.

Those gnawing feelings inside my heart shredded against your blade,

the ones that longed for your approval seemed an even trade.

For what I have lost,

at such an unbearable cost,

is now my treasure of gold,

so pretty, so bright, so alive, I grow as you once promised, but sold.

You created in me, a time bomb, soul crushing,

stubborn walls, isolating, defensive, blood rushing.

FUCK! I loved you!

Deadlocked, I ran for the door,

running through the streets, not knowing what for.

I ran and safety took me in,

what you started, I will repair, finally, safety herein.

I let you go of your hand, while gravity dropped you from the ledge,

your own loss was me, your faint screams for your control ending, your hollow, vile pledge.

You tried to sew my heart back together, as you over and over tore it open,

while I remained devoted to you with your violent, cruel words spoken.

I love you no more, your time is done,

you offered me promises of beauty, and acceptance, as you almost killed me, but now

I have won.

And, I once fucking loved you.

No more dry, chapped kiss to kiss,

no more joined at the hips,

no more hand in hand,

we never saw eye to eye,

you see, my tears for you, are gone and dried.

Succubus, no more blood for blood,

we were never neck and neck,

we never agreed word for word,

now, you're all ashes to ashes,

dust to dust,

trust turned to mistrust.

no more hell to hell,

and death to death.

So tell me, my demented, wallowing foe,

what have you now to show?

A shot to my heart, a knife in my back,

my wounds will heal, soft, smooth, I will reclaim my trail and track.

When you reveal a conscience, ready to admit the guilt you so

stubbornly push my way,

when truth and integrity finally become the torch, then and only

then can my sanity stay.

I almost witnessed a death by a sweet and sour tongue,

your poison, your toxic soup, your pathetic love song to me, remains unsung.

Now you see what you've done, it's like chewing on broken glass,

swallowing each tiny bit, cut, scratch, and slash.

Take that bite and chew it well,

now, you will succumb to my healthy, abundant spell.

Poison and lies are the banquets on which you feed,

love, acceptance, and satisfaction my only aching needs.

These are needs you so selfishly refused to fulfill,

it's no wonder I was set up for the kill.

You're nothing,

repugnant and disgusting.

"Jane the Ripper"

Anorexic inner child-stripper,

a cesspool of arsenic sipper.

Only I possess the antidote,

shaking, crying, starving, like a hankering for methadone.

You possess a cyanide smile spewing out words of sugary stank,

you ravaged my empty heart, while I searched for what I'd lost, that poison

I drank.

While your procession of lies no longer glimmers on your blood thirsty tongue,

it finds me desperately trying to untangle the mess you've strung.

All of this is your doing,

all of this mind-fucking, mental screwing.

Push me this way, pull me that way, offering empty promises and

false hope by mandate,

a "higher power" you're not, though you claim; let me humble

you, BITCH, you'll never be elected that caliber candidate.

You come with gifts to bear,

rotting teeth, shivering skin, and fine downy hair.

You will not make me a martyr,

your dynamite strapped to my chest, suicide bomber.

You psychological, savage beast, you have only made me stronger.

Let me help you with that, lighting the fuse...

game over, FUCK YOU!, you lose!

©2007KMS