You don't know me damn it
You don't
You simple just don't
Not because you have not been given an exhausting amount of proper introductions
But because you are not looking properly
You gaze up on me with those foolish eyes of the blind knowing.
You see the witty words and the charming smile.
The fast talking, no nonsense spirit and my flow through life.
You see the "I don't give a Fuck" and the "I aint got time".
The wine drinker and cigarette puffing.
You have no idea
You believe the facade cause it is easy.
To know means to endure and you have no plans to endure.
I listen to your woes and feel your pain and pleasure yet mine remains a mystery to you.
The fault is mine
I only dish up and plate the facade for your feasting delights.
I am your well trained slave.
My mother whom I am sure my disdain for her is palpable, is the sole provider of the glaring eyes that boldly say... "You are a stranger to me". This as much as it pains me gives me solace. Cause is it honest confusion and not bold admiration for that which one does not comprehend.
I am you and me and all you have endured and all I have endured.
I am as lost as you are
I am on my way everywhere and nowhere at the same time as you.
I am haunted by the ghost of yesterday and the bewitching of tomorrow.
Why are you so willing to love the fake and afraid of the real?
Why do I find joy in giving you the facade and damning you for not seeing me as I am?
Why do I not trust you to embrace the complete and only offer partial?
Is it due to fear of abandonment or just that I no longer care? I am unsure...
I underestimate you, the loves of my life, my dear ones. I have forsaken you.
In my anger I quietly berate you. Yet in my heart I hold you dear to me.
Love the facade if you will, know me as you wish.
Until I have to courage to uncover my ever present facade.