EXCRUCIATING PUNISHMENT
Ice crystals ornamental to partially weeping branches,
the sky foggy grey as if sadness struck the night,the road seemed longer and the distance farther from you
my heart sank, as I got closer to home, and I became blue.
Visiting you did some good but it torments me now,
depressing me, knowing we'll never live together again.
How can I deal thinking, I should have done more?
Maybe I should have held you tighter when I hugged you,
I should have said more I love yous every minute of the day.
The should have questions trouble my mind afflicting my heart
like knives stabbing me making deeper wounds never to heal.
I'll never see your smile in the morning, nor hear you calling me.
The phone calls cannot touch me instead haunt me like a ghost.
I would rather have you here talking to me like before.
Today I woke up feeling miserable irritated at life itself.
I look around and it seems no one else misses you.
Life condemned me alone with guilt and sorrow,
while everyone else happily goes on living.
Its hard to eat, speak, smile and even weep.
I've tried to cry but tears won't come out,
instead they stay inside burning like hell.
No one understands why I am so bitter and yell.
How to explain this pain killing me slowly?
How can I tell them I need some compassion.
I'm dying alone in silence agonizing missing you.
I don't want to hear that it was time to let you go,
or its part of life nor the quotes of kids having to grow.
To me its an excruciating punishment weakening my soul.
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