Beasts of Springtime

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  • Life
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  • Nature

    Beasts of Springtime

    We are the beasts of springtime
    With the hearts of summer
    In the leaves of autumn.

    Our souls chase the west wind
    As we dance in the east sun
    And bask in the beauty of first light.

    Each heart sings to the wisdom of the north
    Along the sweet journey of the south.

    We live in the guidance of the Father
    As the beasts of springtime.

     

    Tara M. Barrett
    11/2/10

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    RHPeat commented on Beasts of Springtime

    11-15-2010

    A very interesting poem Tara. However you might try to rid yourself of the over use of the word "of" as a metaphorical device. 7 lines out of 10 rely on it. And in my book it weakens the poem a lot. You might want to play with other more enlivened metaphors structures.... "of" is the simplest and easiest and is terribly over used to the point of boredom. The presented concepts are strong here and I do like the intent of the poem greatly. A poet friend// RH Peat
    Reply to Comment

    TBWyvern

    11/15/2010

    Thank you very much. I definitely see the reasoning and appreciate the help.

    Poetry is what is lost in translation.

    Robert Frost (1875-1963) American Poet.

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