Monday, 2009-02-16

I CANT BELIEVE IT’S BEEN ALMOST THREE YEARS

I CANT BELIEVE IT’S BEEN ALMOST THREE YEARS AND I STILL HAVE FEARS.

I’M STILL HOLDING BACK TEARS…..

I SIT HERE AND BEGAN TO REFECLT ON MY COUSINS JERMAINE’S LIFE.

THE IMAGES OF HIM STILL GIVES ME CHILLS.

THE IMAGE OF HIM LAYING THERE IN A FETAL POSTION IS WHAT I SEE. BALLED UP LIKE AN UNBORN BABY. MY COUSIN IS THERE LIFELESS.

PEOPLE GATHERED AROUND TO SEE IF IT WAS REALLY HIM. THERE HE WAS ON THE GROUND AND EVERYONE TRYING TO FIGURE HOW IT WENT DOWN.

TO THIS DAY THERE’S NO ANSWERS. THE POLICE HAVE LEADS AND SOME PLEADS BUT NO ARREST. HIS SOUL IS NOW AT REST.

I FELT THE SHOTS MY SELF AS IF I WAS THE ONE WHO WAS SHOT.

THE RINGING IS IN MY HEAD. I AM TRYING TO BLOCK THE IMAGE OUT OF MY HEAD INSTEAD.

WHILE MY EYES CLOSING ALL I SEE IS RED THE COLOR OF BLOOD. I’M DROWNING IN MY TEARS. THOSE TEARS HAS TURNED TO A FLOOD.

I CANT BELIEVE IT’S BEEN ALMOST THREE YEARS AM HOLDING BACK TEARS.

I AM STILL DEALING WITH MY FEARS.

THE ONES WHO WAS THE CAUSE OF THE DEATH ARE STILL RUNNING THE STREETS FREE. I PRAY AT NIGHT BEFORE I GOT TO SLEEP. THIS IS MY PRAYER:

NOW I LAID ME DOWN TO SLEEP, I PRAY THE LORD MY SOUL TO KEEP. IF I SHOULD DIE BEFORE I WAKE I PRAY THE LORD MY SOUL TO TAKE.

I CANT BELIEVE IT TOOK THREE OR FOUR JUST FOR ONE; IN ORDER TO GET THE JOB DONE. THIS LEFT A LASTING IMPACT ON EVERYONE HE KNEW, TO BAD ITS WAS HIS ON CREW.

WITH FRIENDS LIKE THAT WHO NEEDS ENEMIES.

I COULDN’T EVEN LOOK AND HIM IN THE CASKET THAT WAS STRETCH OUT.

I FOUND MYSELF TRYING TO HOLD BACK MY EMOTIONS BUT THEY SOME HOW CAME OUT.

IM SCREAMING ON THE INSIDE WHILE OTHERS CRYING ON THE OUTSIDE.

HE PROMISED HE WAS GOING TO COME TO CHURCH BUT NOT THAT WAY. THAT THE PRICE WHEN YOU CHOOSE THAT WAY. I KNOW WITHIN HE DID PRAY

I CAN’T BELIEVE IT’S BEEN ALMOST THREE YEARS.

I AM STILL HOLDING BACK FEARS.

HE DIED THE WAY HE SAID HE WOULD. I TOLD ME THAT SOME WAS GOING TO KILL HIM,

BUT IT HAPPENED SO FAST HE WAS KILLED WITH A BLAST.

I TOLD MYSELF; IF I WAS THERE IS WOULDN’T WENTDOWN LIKE THE WAY IT DID

I KNOW IT WAS ONE OF GOD PLANS. JERMAINE HOW DOES IT FEEL TO REST IN HIS HANDS?

LET’S BLOW OUR HEAD AS WE PRAY. GOD; PLEASE SAVE OUT YOUTH TODAY.

KEEP THEM FROM THERE FEARS, PRESSURE, DRUG, SEX, LIFE OF THE STREETS, AND HOMOSEXUALITY. I PRAY THAT YOU COVER THEM WITH YOUR BLOOD.

PROTECT THEM FROM THE MOLESTER AND THOSE DIRTY COPS. THE ARE OUR NOW.

JESUS BLESS THEM IS MY PRAYER.

ALSO BLESS AND SAVE THOSE WHO WERE RESPONIBLE FOR KILLING MY COUSIN. I HATE TO SEE THE EXPRESSION ON MY AUNTS FACE. GOD, GIVE HER YOUR GRACE. BLESS HER SOUL THE PAIN I TO HOLD.

SOME PEOPLE IN THIS WORLD ARE SO COLD.

I CAN’T BELIEVE ITS BEEN THREE YEARS AND I’M STILL HOLD BACK MY TEARS.

IT DOESN’T EVEN SEEM THAT LONG. SOUNDS LIKE A SAD SONG

ONE DAY YOU’RE HERE AND THEN YOUR GONE.

HE WAS HE LIKE A MODERN DAY TUPAC. HOW LONG WILL THEY MORN ME. WE WILL BE REMEMBERING YOU UNITL THE END .YOU’LL FOREVER SHINE.

DEAR GOD YOU TOOK SOME MANY OF MY PEOPLE AWAY.

I MY KNEES I MUST CONTINUE TO PRAY.

WHY PEOPLE AND LIES, PEOPLE AND FILIES, ALWAYS TELLING LIES. PEOPLE LYING ABOUT THIS AND THAT SAY THIS HAPPENED. HOW CAN A HOOD THAT DOESN’T SLEEP BECOME SLEEP WALKERS? EVERYBODY HAS BEEN BLIND AND DEAF IN THE WAKE OF A DEATH.

WHERE WAS ALL HIS SO CALLED FRIENDS? NO WHERE TO BE FOUND NOT EVEN WHEN IS WENT DOWN.

I CANT BELIEVE IS HAS BEEN ALMOST THREES YEARS; I M STILL HOLDING BACK TEARS. ANOTHER SOLDIER BITS THE DUST. I DON’T KNOW WHO TO TRUST.

I JUMP AT EVERY SOUND OF A GUN SHOT. THOSE WHO SAY THEIR HARD IS NOT.

I HATE FAKE WANT TO BE GANGSTER.

I KNOW THERE SAID IT WAS FOUR I KNOW IT WAS MORE. THAT WAS A PLOT TO TAKE HIM OF HIS GRIND SO THEY CAN SHINE. HE WAS KILLED AT NIGHT AND EVERYONE SEEM TO HAVE LOST THERE SIGHT. I HEAR THEM RAPPING "WOOD GRAIN I’M GRIPPING, THIS DRINK I’M SIPPING GOT ME TIPPING". FALL DOWN ALREADY.

YOUR REAL NAME IS FREADY.

STOP! YOU KNOW YOURE SCARED OF DOING TIME. YOU ARE NOT HARD. WE KNOW YOU ARE FRAUD. YOURE SOFT AS TISSUE WITH YOU I HAVE AN ISSUE.

THE RESPECT HAS GONE FROM THE GAME WHAT SHAME. DON’T FORGET 45 WAS MY NAME. I CAN STILL GET GUTTA IF A PROBLEM CAME.

IF IT WASN’T FOR GOD I WOULD BE WORST THAN YOU. I THANK YOU GOD THAT PART OF MY LIFE IS THROUGH.

I CAN’T BELIEVE IT’S BEEN ALMOST THREE YEARS…..