A Crowded Place

3 Comments

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  • Loneliness

    A Crowded Place

    He'd sit on that quiet cold concrete chair

    In the playful park,

    Would leave when the last child left,

    Sipped constantly from the bottle in his pocket,

    And watched the children play,

    Never spoke a word with them.

    When he left it was to warm his lonely bed,

    Sleep was elusive in the shadow of emptiness,

    Empty house, empty bed, empty life,  

    But he'd become a part of their games,

    He smiled as they laughed,

    Frowned as they squabbled.

    Then one day they played to an empty chair,

    They waited for eternity for his return.

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    devaamido commented on A Crowded Place

    10-30-2009

    Interesting how you set the tone of the work in the first 2 lines, both in the meaning and the sound of the words: "quiet cold concrete" contrasted with "playful park". Your word pictures show how the cold & lonely seek, obtain & reflect warmth & life vicariously from all available sources before dying, underscoring the fact that we all die alone. That's the source of the poem's empathetic pull. It's an excellent poem.

    abraham

    10/31/2009

    Thanks for youe encouraging comments and such a beautiful analysis of the poem.

    Marsink commented on A Crowded Place

    10-29-2009

    Guess he never returned. This is a vacuum of loneliness that sucks the reader in. I like it and expect that more is left unwritten...this could be the foundation for a book. We often have unknown effects on those who we've not spoken with

    abraham

    10/30/2009

    Yes, there's a lot left unsaid. You put it right, strangely many a times some of those with who we haven't spoken a word have a deeper impact on our lives. Thanks for the read and comments.

    When power leads man towards arrogance, poetry reminds him of his limitations. When power narrows the area of man's concern, poetry reminds him of the richness and diversity of existence. When power corrupts, poetry cleanses.

    John F. Kennedy (1917-1963) Thirty-fifth President of the USA

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