Is the silence so profound

That looking now above the silent peaks

Of looming mountains

Beauty still cannot be found

And here in you embrace

It is all I can do

Not to look into your auburn eyes

And why not jump

Escape with you

My demented lover

Who until now was just a safety cord

To pull me up

When the sea of blue was suffocating

When not even the drugs could help

When slicing my skin with such a

Gentle

Deadly

Sharp

Blade

Could entrap my fears into one whole being

And I wonder why

When all of that really just tore me up

The drugs turning my mind to its will

And even now

I don’t control the blade slowly slicing my arm into beautiful shreds

It controls me

Calling to me when I just want to be in his arms

Cradled in a love I could never understand

But could only return

He now asks me to do something I have tried to attempt before

Do I have the guts now

Now that I have everything to lose

Yet nothing if he is at risk

And if

In fact

This is what he wants

Why not give it to him

I squeeze his hand

His fingers already interlacing through mine

And we breathe our last

I look into his auburn eyes

Clear with satisfaction and the knowledge of choice

We jump in sync