I cannot believe how fast time flies

It is said that time heals all wounds

So why do my heart still feel so heavy

It still seems like yesterday that my mother died

Damn I miss her

Even though I know that she is out of pain

I sometimes wonder what things would be like if she never got sick

Would I be here today?

Would I meet the extraordinary people I know?

Is she proud of the woman that I’m becoming?

Would I be off in another state attending college full-time?

Would I handle things as I do?

Is she proud of the decisions I’ve made?

I am full of questions for her

Just wish I could have asked before the bittersweet end

One thing that gets me through is the fact that I am so much like her

I’ve been told this since I was little

I use to try to rebel against it

But everything I did made them say the same

I just wanted to be me

Not someone else

We use to make fun of each other

Saying, “Stop tryna be like me”

Or

“You can’t do it like me”

Laugh Out Loud…she was a trip

When I go through the craziness of life

I take a step back and wonder what she would have done differently

Or what kind of comforting words I would hear from her mouth

I’m just appreciative that she has sent three women to guide me

If I place some of their characteristics together I can almost make a replica of her

One is the calm and comforting side of her

The side of my mom that supports and listens to me

The second is the part that I could talk about anything with

The one I could go out and have a great time with

The one that is the kool side of her, my inner self

Then there is the last that is kool, easy to talk to and the reality check

The side of my mom that would tell me the truth no matter the consequences

I know that the replica is not the real thing

But I am content on knowing that my mom lives through and around me

Whether I know it or not

She has never left me

But has only become unable to see

But I feel her presence

Her smile,

Her laugh

She is a part of me…..