I awake endlessly to another day
Wishing life were different.
Wishing for fullfillment.
Wishing for things you will never give me,
When i know, but have trouble admitting,
I am the only one who can fullfill myself.

Countless times I have blamed you,
But who am I to blame you for my emptiness?
I have done this horrible thing to us
I have brought all of this pain.
I feel I am dooming us to fail.
It is the worst of vicious cycles,
And I want nothing more than to break it.

You are not perfect,
But how could I ask perfection of you?
You say I am never satisfied,
But you don't know how easily satisfied I am.
It makes me suffer knowing you feel this way.
It makes me question myself.

All I want is to feel your love surround me.
To feel that you understand me.
I want you to crave me as I crave you.
Yet you fill my days with promises,
And leave my nights empty and cold.
I feel I'm not and never will be good enough.

I want you to know
In my heart I do not begrudge you this
I know my problems are my own to resolve,
And as much as I want you to fix us,
I am the one who holds the key.
I am the one who must bring us back.

I have become someone unworthy of you.
I have pushed you away,
And though I have blamed you for who you are,
Perhaps I have only myself to blame.
You have come to resent me,
And it is all my doing.

Soon I will stare down my reflection.
Soon I will make a choice.
I will become the woman you loved again.
Though I don't know how.
Perhaps I will soon come to terms.
I will redesign and redifine myself
I will paint you a prettier picture.

I long to be happy with myself,
And for you to be happy with me too.
This is my most desired wish because...
I need you and love you.
Your touch is my only warmth and comfort.
You are my love and my life.