Return........

3 Comments

Poem Commentary

Wow, this one came forth with a vengeance, submitted without over-thinking.

Return........

A quarter century later, you re-enter my world
And the universe seems to spin askew
Rapid and whirling like my thoughts and feelings for you.
I yearn, I ache, I bleed, silent screams
But you keep your armour secure,
Your fortress walls high, impenetrable
and my nails become torn and bloody
Imploring entrance to your gate,
Clawing, battering, groveling, screaming
A possessed banshee keening in the wind.

Your cold iron gates my answer
Your darkened windows black as your soul
Nevermore tenderness, passion, warmth
Contempt as you lie in your bed of deceipt.
I shall dive to the deepest cold depths of your moat
Which protects you from facing yourself full;
Drink in the dank water as I drank in your kiss
and die in black waters less cold than your heart.
And your dark eyes look not upon my futile sacrifice,
For your alter now is bare as the heart once beat with mine.

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Solaris commented on Return........

01-27-2012

Well done very gripping in the descriptiveness of the words and similarities you give between things the only thing this poem needs is a recognizable pentameter other than that it was great solid 9

dragonfly1023 commented on Return........

06-29-2009

this is a very powerful piece FrostGirl. seems like you time traveled back to the days of yore somewhere for this one. there are some excellent visuals here and the empathy I'm feeling for you right now has me worn out. this person doesn't deserve you :D

FrostGirl

06/29/2009

Your reply means so much to me, this definitely came from deep within, without thinking. So wonderful to meet you, peace and love!

Crush commented on Return........

06-29-2009

My goodness, some people can just write.....you are one of them. I really love this. The font you chose even works and the poem moves freely because of it...BRAVO Ms. Frost !

FrostGirl

06/29/2009

And I thank you, Sir Crush!

In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it's the exact opposite.

Franz Kafka (1883-1924) Czech writer.

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