NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS..IN IRAQ

T’was the night before Christmas and all through Iraq
Not a creature was stirring Not even a filthy desert rat
The stocking were hung by the Chimney with care
Well….. I forgot we don’t have no chimneys out here
Al Qaeda soldiers lay comfortable after a long day of class
With 10 pounds of C4 strapped to their ass
laying in my bed no kerchief or Cap
I just laid down for a short nights nap
When outside just then I heard a loud boom
It had to be close because it shook my whole room
Jumped out the bed to run to the door
Tripped over the broom and fell to the floor
Laughed at myself for a second then got up
Then slightly cracked the door to see what was up
The North Star so big and bright on the Sky so Black
WAIT…. THAT’S NOT A STAR … ROCKET ATTAAAACK
I RUN IN MY ROOM TO GRAB MY KEVLAR AN VEST
THEN I REMEMBER LAST WEEK I LEFT IT IN THE CONNEX
Forget it…
Ran to the door and down the steps real fast
Get outside and look down DAM I DON’T HAVE ON ANY PANTS!!!
The Gentle Iraqi breeze blowing gently on my ass
Competing with the heat from the rocket that just passed
The screech from the loud speaker made my ears hurt
A day late and a dollar short he proclaimed RED ALERT RED ALERT
Everyone in the bunker SILENT and Afraid
And Im thinking to myself Is this really worth the money I’m getting paid
Just then we hear the song of relief as it sung
It was the roar of the mighty 50 Cal Machine gun
Round after round they light up the sky
Who ever is on the receiving end can kiss their ass goodbye
Shot after shot and round after round
And a few more Rockets collide with the ground
Persistent little bastards
All of a sudden silence.. Its over I believe
This is sure to be my most memorable Christmas eve
Then over the loud speaker 4 times we hear
All Clear ,All clear , All clear , All clear
I look to the sky and say to my enemies who just fell
Merry Christmas you Bastards as you Burn in Hell