Mommy Dearest
If only I knew our time together would be cut short
I could have done more.
I would have told you, how proud I was
how proud I am
to have shared in your life.
How unknowingly,
you taught me how to accept people for who they are,
because that may be the only way they know how to be.
You taught me how to love unconditionally,
I loved you unconditionally.
I learned to live with disappointments.
I learned that there are no guarantees.
I learned to appreciate the good
and at times it best to overlook the bad
because there is no promise for tomorrow.
I learned to forgive
and I do forgive.
I forgive you for leaving me behind.
I forgive you for not accepting the love I had for you
and I'm sorry.
I'm sorry that having me in your life wasn't enough.
I'm sorry that you never found the happiness that you seeked.
I'm sorry that you never felt the love that you deserved.
You were still a child
when you gave me life,
searching for your existence,
yearning to be understood,
to understand.
You never saw your beauty,
you never celebrated life,
you didn't know your contributions.
You never gave YOU a chance.
I saw the sadness in your eyes
never knowing why
I knew I was one of your many regrets.
You loved me
but grief consumed your heart
and you had nothing left to give.
I grew-up in your pain
as I watched you slip away.
I cried for you
but your tears consumed mine.
I wanted you to see me
but you were blinded
by an addiction that eventually
stopped your heart.
You're at peace now
I believe that you finally found happiness
You may be forever gone from this life
but you live forever in me.
I share your passion in song.
I feel through my words.
Your spirit lives within me.
I possess your soul.
So, I acknowledge you, for the woman I am,
for the woman you could have been,
for the Mom I am,
for the Mom you wanted to be,
for the life I live,
for the life you left behind,
for each moment we shared,
I wouldn't have changed a second.
I MISS YOU MOMMY DEAREST!
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