A musician who hailed from Aruba
Lost a bet when he played Eukanuba,
So they made him stand nude
On the roof as he 'blewed'
The Star Spangled Banner on tuba

Cat

A Farmer from Ipswich on Boggert

Fed his cat only well-aged plum yogurt

But yogurt fermented

Has alcohol in it

And leaves the poor kitty quite snoggered

A Tale of "A Bear"

A young Cajun boy named Hebert.
Fell in love with a hairy young Shebert.
On their strange honeymoon
Twas the bride not the groom
That ate her new spouse as he Lebert.

(To get that one, you have to know how "Hebert" is pronounced in South Louisiana.)


For Texicans....

A Mick from Guadelejara
Said, "My name is Fernando O'Jara"
I'm a transplant from Limerick
The name's just a gimerick
For a lark I just shaved off my Jara.

Third on the "Roster"

There was an old woman from Gloucester

Who batted at third on the roucester

As she stood at the plate

The umpire said, "Great"

At last, we've a batter with good poucester.

It's Not a Hen, It's a "Rorcester"

In a sleepy old village we call Worcester
Lived a gal who loved roller corcesters
She rode one to the top
Where it came to a stop
The attendant had to climb up and borcester

Liberal Bankers and Critics?

A musician with a bad septic tank

Went to get a home loan from the bank

But they wouldn't approve

Cause he weren't in the groove

They said his music had rhythm, but stank.

So why do I have to be groovy?

I'm so dull I don't even watch movies.

I just want a smooth flush

So what? I love Rush.

What connection could there to my loo be?

(c) 2009 by Tom King