limbo
serpent-tongued venus.satan is a woman and i think i love her.
passion, pleasure, fire.
we descend eternally into romantic limbo.
limbo
5 Comments
satan is a woman and i think i love her.
passion, pleasure, fire.
we descend eternally into romantic limbo.
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Poem Comments
(5)
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tmcdermott commented on limbo
04-19-2013
- i love it's conciseness and the imagery jumps. given the sparse but direct nature of the poem, i might offer a couple of suggestions. from the 2nd line perhaps consider removing 'and i think' and move 'i love her' to its own line. similarly, in the last line, maybe 'we descend eternal' and on a new line 'to romantic limbo' also though i have no alternatives at the moment, i wonder if limbo is the strongest word to use. just some thoughts and without any changes a very nice write. congrats.
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02-03-2010
- A lot of emotions bared in such few words.........very nice work, Dis. gogant.......................
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02-03-2010
- A solid write with harmonic conviction. I first read it as "romantic libido" --- the damn one-track mind of mine. Bravo!!
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02-03-2010
- Loving the self, I think that's the first step toward healing. A poet friend// RH Peat
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02-02-2010
- WOW!!!!!! Anton Lavey would be proud of this...............I Like it
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