I love him. I love him, I love him, I love him, I................No! Get your face out of my brain. Right now I want to cut my heart out and throw it away,these emotions are too much to take! Then, he asked me to stay in a place where our love would be erased,but the friendship remain. Live with my ex? Is he insane?! How could he posssibly think I would stay? Calling me bitter because I refused to play anymore games. I think I've been through enough pain. Going our seperate ways was a choice that had to be made,because I couldn't trust, and he couldn't give the serenity I needed is why our beautiful love ended. But I still want him. I still miss him. I still love him. No, please just get out of my head! Why does your image linger all day, everyday, even when I'm lying in bed? Though I'm miles away I still feel the energy he emulates over blue ocean waves. I can't distract my mind from wondering how he's going about that new found life. Will he forget about me over night? I keep asking myself," why is it so hard to let go of him? It's over it's done!" But my body longs to be wrapped in those arms. All I want to do is hide from this ache permeating my soul,tearing apart any resolution of feeling whole. On my knees I beg for some release and healing to replace this misery. How am I supposed to heal when memeories are still stalking? Here I am obsessing over the way he used to tough me softly. Replaying endless moments of pleasure, He was once my wholesome bread and I his creamy butter. The connection between us felt so pure. I honestly believed nothing could contaminate or penetrate the honesty of us. This thought makes me want to break down and cry. Allow floods of tears to drown out my eyes. This on-going pain suddenly gives rise to a voice sounding from inside. I hear it speak my name, it sounds so familiar and wise. Guidance of my soul tells me to take hold of the blessing in disguise that has unfolded. Now is the time to get up and attain all those things I couldn't grasp while living dependantly. Create a world built upon self-made independance. With a dried up vision I'm now ready to walk the path of my ambitions. So, goodbye babe. Here and now I'm choosing not to give into a depressing sight. I'm going to grow and metamorphisize into a gorgeous butterfly! And if we meet again I'll treat him like an old friend. Thanking him, for giving me inspiration to spread these wings, and fly.