How can I understand this silence?

In silence,
the sound is deafening
leaving me blank as I was caught
staring at the voidness of the dark.
Wish it will rain and as the droplets
flash into my face,
Soon I will forget the cacophony it brings
I must simply dive into the potency of oblivion
But I know,
after all the noise my ears will finally shutdown
and let silence grows like a benign tumor
unable to paralyze my humanness.

In silence,
the music is piercing
catching the lyric of every song
making me tranquil like a baby
listening to my mother's lullaby
as she sings humming,breathing.
Consoling my entire being
telling me I am home
I am safe.I am secured.

In silence,
I can hear every murmur
like a powerful prayer always waiting for a reply,
like a choral mantra always lifting my senses
so potent as a magical chant
so strong as the end will start
and the cycle continues,
Reaching eternity as if knowing
no boundaries
My edge is my faith in humanity and beyond.

In silence,
I can only ask myself
Looking introvertly I just cannot see me,
Perhaps,I am afraid to know the real me
and yet,I can mirror myself smiling,
giggling and even laughing.
My sense of duty is to tickle my world
bringing endless laughter
savoring my precious daughter.
In silence,
I persevere to grant wishes
Hoping I can end,at least,temporal sadness
and brings forth permanent gladness.
I maybe brutally frank
but I can give a warm advice point-blank.

How can I ever comprehend with silence?