I'm a Selfish B*tch

I have left him broken.
I have left him bleeding upon the floor.
His heart I ripped to shreds,
Leaving it in pieces forever more.

I could stay to make things easier for my kids.
I could stay to make things easier finacially.
I could stay and fake it for the rest of my life.
I could stay and pretend to be happy.

I could stay.
So many people think that I should.
I could pretend it would all get better.
I could pretend it will again be good.

But I don't want to keep pretending.
I don't want to live a lie.
I don't want to fake like everything is great.
I want to be happy with my life.

I know he still holds out hope,
That I will change my mind.
That i will revese the decision that I made,
And step back into his life.

I can't bring myself to crush his dream.
Cruelty just isn't part of who I am.
But I won't feed his desire for rekindled fire.
I won't lead him on like that.

So now I will be selfish.
I hope my children one day understand.
I sincerly hope God will forgive me.
And I hope that one day HE can.