Everything changed in my life the moment i saw you. i no longer felt weak, struggling through life to exists. your appearance of an angel brought me hope. your smile of tenderness expressed that i could finally trust someone. your character stated that i would not fear getting hurt. nor would i ever feel abandonment. but i just can't understand why i question.....

how i feel


when i look up at the sky, i see the baby blue of your eyes
when i look at the sand of the beaches, i see you blond hair
when i close my eyes, i can feel your lips from our last kiss
when you touch me, i feel the warmth of affection that helps me feel alive
when you put your arms around my neck, the world stands still as we float up to the heavens
i am falling in love you, and i feel it as a rushing water fall that is over taking my body.
only when i am away from you do i see how hard it is to breathe, how hard it is to think, to feel.
i imagined a world for you and me, a world that catered to us, a life that could of been unforgettable.
only on this road of dreams i was the only one who believed, the only one who felt this way.
where are you, who do i need to become that i will be seen from the shadows of this world. what must i become to be loved, for you to love me.
Or am i lost again in insecurity because i can not read your feeling. are you feeling the same for me as i, for you.
Am i just dreaming that love can be created between you and i, or did i believe in something that was never to be created for us.
i feel lost. in an ocean that has no wind, no sight of land, and the clouds have covered the sun.
i feel as if i were walking blindly through the dark, the room is spinning and i can't grab anything to steady myself.
i am crazy about you, i want to share as much of my life that god is willing to allow with you.
Do you feel the same? Are you interested in me? Do you feel something more than just care, or again have i wasted my time knowing some one that I am never going to see again in this life?
Loosen this hold you have from me now that i can leave and lick my wounds like the old dog i am. let me go if you never wanted to feel love knowing that that is all i searched for. walk away now and let me die the lonely death that was destined to me from the beginning of my miserable life.
if you do love me, then take me into the kiss that displays you feel for me. caress me more and show me that there is feelings and passion for me under those finger tips.
Lust after me as i do you, and rip the clothes off my body with the animal of passion you hold caged inside. be the woman that you are and live as if this is the only life you have and love that person as if there is no tomorrow.
whom ever they may be. even if it is not me.

ivan