Frozen Flames

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  • Fantasy

    Poem Commentary

    I was not in the mood to write, so i just, err, typed. I don't know if it's good or not, so well what ever.

    Frozen Flames

    What is this taste...its bitter yet sour. I'm not sure if I like it, I hear gulls, they are faint, but I know their call. I can't open my eyes yet, but we are rocking, and there are other voices, male and femal alike. They don't seem hostile, no, they're afraid...I open my eyes now, too bright to make out faces, just shapes. One...The female who is talking, her voice is light but fierce, it is a language I cannot yet comprehend. Now a male, I can feel the how scared he is through the vibrations, my eyes are adjusting now, however they are slower than my nerves, I feel, a fierce pain in my arms and legs, my left hand so cold it is as if I'm not feeling anything at all. With the pain of one thousand needles in my neck as I try to look to my sides, I see that there is another that lay beside me. A boy, no older than fourteen, his eyes are closed and my first thought is that he is dead. I look closer, now that my eyes are adjusted, I see that we are close to shore now, looking at the sailors, they seem to be afraid of us...of me. I try to sit up, feelind as though I'm being split in two. They people, natives I will call them, all take a step away from me, as if realising for the first time that I'm awake. Now, a burning pain, it makes me realise that my right arm is broken, and my left leg is burnt, no, it is burning, however it seems, frozen almost. A small girl, about five, she starts to take a step forward but a woman stops her, her mother perhaps, no..she looks farmilliar. This woman, she speaks a language I can understand, however I only pick up scraps. The words " Brothers, dangerous, wait." I look back at the boy she called my brother, he isn't dead, but asleep, and now that I study him more closely, his skin isn't skin, its...a living flame, growing, cooling, and wrapping its self around the boy. I move to a kneeling position, now the girl starts to walk towards me, slowly, asking if I'm okay. Nodding I look towards my brother, she looks at me and understands, she says he is fine. With that in mind. I have the sudden urge to dive into the water, and I just...fly right into what I will describe as, a cool burning sensation.

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    Rhymer commented on Frozen Flames

    03-13-2010

    Creative and imaginative write 10 from me...................................

    Poetry is not an expression of the party line. It's that time of night, lying in bed, thinking what you really think, making the private world public, that's what the poet does.

    Allen Ginsberg (1926-1997) U.S. poet.

    KoriTsuki’s Poems (7)

    Title Comments
    Title Comments
    Frozen Flames 1
    Listening to the rain. 1
    Life. Here is the point through my eyes. 1
    Song 0
    Thoughts 1
    Tenshi no Kori 2
    Aoi Sora, Kaze (Blue Sky, Wind) 1