Forseen

2 Comments

Forseen

Begun, the wispers in the night,
Nothing again will ever be right.
Our life,our hope, is being erased.
For freedom, Americas lost it's taste.
Twill never again be the light you were,
You star's burning out, begun to blur.
The eagle's winging to end it's flight,
She has forgotten, how to fight.
Shadows flit, her unseen foe,
Fortold yes! Forseen no!

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Thepreistess commented on Forseen

12-23-2008

ur poem needs a little more insight into what you're saying. I kinda get the direction inwhich ur heading but ur not clear eneough in ur meaning u could loss someone if they don't read it 2x. Don't be dicourage though because there is potential u jus

Jolly commented on Forseen

11-16-2008

You have a good idea, a decent structure, but poor execution. Spelling is critical in any literary art. If you take a little more time and devote a bit more of yourself to your art and check the spelling you'll be doing fine.

In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it's the exact opposite.

Franz Kafka (1883-1924) Czech writer.

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Forseen 2

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