I called you up about two m onths ago. we had a long talk about how you was never there for me and how much i need the love from a father; you told me that you were going to try to be here for me now. i told you that this was a new year 2009 and that i really wanted you in my life. i told you that i needed you just to love me and pick up the phone when i call to see how you are and tell you how i am doing. see when you told me that you were willing to be a new man i cried because i was happy to see that you wanted to change. i really was looking forward in haning you in my life, but if you did not want to talk to me thats all you had to say. but you cant man up thats what hurts me the most. to see that i opened my heart to you and all you did was hurt me more then anyone could ever.

see for the first few weeks you was picking up the phone telling me that you love me, what happened to that??? see dad i love you i really do your my father, but i could only do so much. even when the world was talking about you so bad saying that you were hitting my mother that you raped i n ever really believed them because i never heard what you had to say. so what i mean is that never really jugged you in till today when i realized that you are just like all the other fathers that only want the ones that use them. see when i called you because i love and miss you so much. inever called you to ask you for anything, but my sisters always did they always want the little money that you have, but i never wanted anything but your love. all i wanted to do is show yoy that i care about you tell you that i love you, your my dad and i need you in my life.

i dont know if you can remember when we went gaot car racing i had a good time, i will always remember that day. i just you and i to speand some time together. dad all i ever wanted some stories to tell about you. i wish that i could talk about you to some of my friends tell them thing that we would do, but dam i cant even say i do anything with you.

hey i dont get it you rather take care of children that are not your then take care of your own, i just dont understand!!! when we were talkingon the phone thats what you told me that you are living with your girlfriend and her kids wow!!!! i dont know what you want me to do???? seee i tried to be the daughter that i never was to you, but you never let me. dad i just want to be there for you!!! I want us to be a family can we try that??? My whole life i have been lied to... My mother always used me never showed me that she cared. see i dont want to play the victim role or the hero i just want to be normal i want to live a normal life!!! i want you to understand that i love you and all i want is to be a family. i dont want to hurt anyone and have anyone hurt me. i have given my mother so many chances, but she never took the chance to be a good mother, and i am still willing to give her another chance, but it will be th elast one.see you dad i never really gave a chance to be a good father and thats what i was tyring to do when i called you. i see that you dont want to take the chance that i gave to you so i really cant do much more...