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I hate you for allowing me to love you as much as I have. Not aware that I was the one coming damn there last. You always claim I never look @ the big picture. However when I did,the water was filled with unknown particles floating in my pitcher. But how can one do that without seeing the details? But I’m not really sure that you knew what I entailed. I love you more than myself if you can grasp that. We agreed that you’d be more open,you fell back....All I wanted was to be included in your life. But with each version of the truth you told,I asked myself why. Why would you push me away?why so secretive? When I thought we were who we wanted to have children with. You were by her side when she was in the hospital. Even on my graduation night,she was the obstacle. A “friend” is what you called her,I knew it was more. Yet you’ve been staying with her for how many years now...about four. Your true colors shined through down to your core. whatever you were trying to accomplish in our friendship,you were a success. I’m done now because staying in this dark room,everything is suspect. All the talks we’ve held ended with this fantasy you created. And in the next scene of our life we were sexin’. It was like I had no idea how to tell you “NO”because its my whole heart you hold. Your living arrangement is quite the situation. You continue to say you want your own but I see you take no action. We have no intimacy although were intimate. You want to “protect”me by telling me lies,you look like a hypocrite. I’m always hurt by you in some way,how much more am I built to take? Things are so different now from when I first met you,the fact is you didn’t love me the way I loved you. i never wanted to bother you but you had no concern for the small cares,unaware that I was standing there. I have no idea how your doing in your life and you don’t know the ins and outs of mine. You just wanted me to shut up and stop asking questions completely...you didn’t come willingly,it’s like I forced you to be with me. How many time have I asked you am I girlfriend material? When I began to doubt who I was,you were chillin’eating cereal. You said you didn’t think our relationship needed maintenance. How is that true when your my biggest dependence. How come I wasn’t sufficient for you even when I broke all my rules? Then I realized given the option it wasn’t me that you’d choose. You can’t have my leading role anymore because I have no place in your feature. YES,I’ll admit I’m a little bitter. It was everyone else who seen you in a another light,honest moments and different sides. What I received from you instead was your sex and pride....When ALL I’ve always wanted was to be included in your life.
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