I hide it for a reason and it may seem fake or comical, when the truth is for me, the hardest thing to admit. It makes me feel vulnerable, on guard, embarrassed, afraid, unsure and insecure.
I hide it because there is an urgency to protect it. I hide it for sanity’s sake, not to mention peace sake. Though I don’t have a den, I feel like the lioness and I have lost pieces, so to preserve it is of the highest priority.
Its light, hearty, optimistic, pure, true, courageous, willing and sometimes pushy, all of the things I don’t see “me” as being.
We’re in a maze and “it’s” trapped me and I’m content, to let “it” remain hidden. It seems oblivious even to it’s own past and I’m tired of fighting but if I don’t it will succumb to attention, intimacy, whispers, smiles, concern, words and actions that we’ve both seen and heard before and I just cant make it understand.
I realize it’s beauty and I know that it’s worthy. I just want to let it know that I haven’t given up and to please be patient with me. I will release you just let me stay in control just a little longer.