Depression

Depression is something that starts in your mind, then moves to different body parts over time. I started being depressed, when my father died so to get rid of this, I cried and I cried. It subsided after I kind of gotten over that, but showed it's ugly face again when I injured my back. I've had back problems for many of years and my lower lumbar 4 and 5 brought many of tears. I'm a strong person, deep down inside, but sometimes depression is very hard to hide. In public, I don't show signs of depression because most people, wouldn't understand my most inner confessions. Sometimes depression can keep you from doing the things you use to do and your body says yes, but your mind doesn't have a clue. I was a great athlete, back in the day having know problems that I had to tell to go away. I motivate myself from time to time, to get myself through the daily grind. Depression sneaks up on you, without any warning it can happen when you are sleep or in the early morning. Depression can cause all kinds of family problems, by turning to God you would think that he could always solve them. It can have an affect on your daily routines, but for me depression can't keep me from being clean. This disease has affected millions of people, even the ones that gather under that church steeple. When my nephew was shot eight different times, that punk depression was trying to give me signs. I had to be strong, but found myself weak anti depression was getting very bleak. After that tragedy, I thought me and depression was getting a divorce, but that son of a gun still ran it's course. My favorite aunt, had passed September 2008 and that damn depression made me take the bait. I asked God why, why my Aunt Bobbie she was very strong, just like the best friend "Kemo Sabe". I will never understand, why this feeling is so great drinking beer, doing drugs, can't hide this global hate. Self medication sometimes can ease your pain, but in the long run you still have to play that depression game. Having "Sleep Apnea" is a life changing thing, thought it would never happen to "Bay Bay The King". I thought I would never have to go through this, but having sleep apnea, herniated and a protruding disks? I know people go through different sort of things and have to live with those stupid mood swings. I'm to stubborn to go down this easy and the depression game, act like it want to please me. But never the less, you messing with the wrong man depression loses, because I have God with the upper hand.