Death of mind

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  • Dark Poetry

    Death of mind
    Rainbows spin before me, ever fading into gray
    The rhythm of the music, searches for melodic strength
    I drift from natural magic, chasing dreams I’ve yet unveiled
    Wine of thought lay fruitless, and the rivers flowing still
    Cloaked in absolution, a blind sighted inner need
    The nirvana I was chasing was but a sleepless peace
    Just one more thrill before me – never knowing what I’ll find
    One more pill won’t kill me – it’s just the death of mind

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    NevillePark commented on Death of mind

    01-20-2010

    "Wine of thought lay fruitless, and the river's flowing, still Cloaked in absolution; a blind sighted inner need This is a clever and thoughtful piece. I get, the meaning I think but (Please forgive the sidebar) -one thing I think we should try to do as communicators in this age of (curiously) "A"-communicative structuring, is to put punctuations between words if we make a contraction of them. "Wine of thought lay fruitless, and the rivers flowing still" "Love that phrase." One thing I wasn't sure of was whether ... rivers flowing still, was the completion of the thought or did it follow on as if "rivers" referred to a network of water ways. I took is as ... river _is flowing still. Either way it's fine- and beyond my need to critique it because works either way, but that's just me. And I tend to hope for feedback on my stuff. There are a couple of folks who're not afraid to dig in tell me the little things that throw them off. You're a pro and once again excuse me if I seem unaware that you've payed some dues in the game.
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    laydbak1 commented on Death of mind

    07-24-2009

    Nothing like drowning reality with a little soul poison to help give us a good ol' fashioned stained view of the world, eh...??? This is definitely a dark piece, but something everyone should read at least once... Good write...
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    Poetry is either something that lives like fire inside you or else it is nothing, an empty formalized bore around which pedants can endlessly drone their notes and explanations.

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