Dairy of a Lover

1 Comments

Dairy of a Lover


When the lights in the sky goes dim
Then on us the night season beckon
Touching the greenery is the moonbeam
Serene and beautiful I must reckon
Serenade sounds whispering to my ear
An atmosphere only love could bear
Seas of memory floods my heart
The Pains you bore tears me apart
Just for my sake, you took the blame
Yet the suffering brought you fame
Greater than that of Romeo & Juliet
Your memoirs I wear like a bracelet
That I may never betray your trust
Being with you forever, my only thrust

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twayneking commented on Dairy of a Lover

03-06-2009

In a way "Dairy" of a lover (rather than "Diary" which is, I assume what you meant) is actually appropriate, because this poem tries to milk emotion from the reader. You have some nice words in your kit, but a word of advice. Avoid using the word "Pain". It's just so overused in bad poetry it's hard to find a way to use it effectively. Show the emotion, don't tell us about it. Paint a picture and let people draw the emotion from it themselves. You're forcing the rhyme without pairing it wi

Poetry is finer and more philosophical than history; for poetry expresses the universal, and history only the particular.

Aristotle (384 BC-322 BC) Greek philosopher.

wales77’s Poems (17)

Title Comments
Title Comments
YESTERDAY 0
Dairy of a Lover 1
THE PORTRAIT OF A WOMAN 1
Love 0
To Be or Not to Be 0
Trip to Prideland 0
Ambition 1
Mystery of Wisdom 0
The Anointing 1
The king's Will 0
Can I if Only 1
The Great Book 1
Mercy 1
TESTAMENT OF A WONDERING MAN 0
Pain 1
The Last Scroll 0
Cry in the Rain 2