Andrea

2 Comments

Tags:
  • Emotional

    Andrea

    She beautiful, but is covered with makeup and lipstick ....
    He's a beast, despite the human characteristics....
    Her eyes are projectors and her mind is film....
    Shes hard to buy but easy to steal.
    Her blood sends mosquitoes to anonymous meetings.
    Her heart is a nine pound bag thats used to sooth her beatings.
    He clenches tight her heart holding it for safe keeping
    Her line is on E... cause her gas tank is leaking
    Her son is her moon,
    The sun's coming up soon.
    But not soon enough.
    She's got to stay tough.


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    jannifer commented on Andrea

    06-08-2009

    i love ur poem it is so belivin it feels real to me keep up the good work u r great............it takes a real poet 2 no 1

    AbeyBaby

    06/13/2009

    thank you!!!! kind words.. i read your poems when i get a chance i promise

    ZenShadow commented on Andrea

    05-14-2009

    need to edit out 'but is is' to just 'but is' ...otherwise a very interesting poem, strong use of allegory (her heart is... her eyes are... etc) memorable! One last critique: 'Her son is her moon' ... I assume you meant that to be son and not sun? It works, but seems a bit ... forced.

    If I feel physically as if the top of my head were taken off, I know that is poetry.

    Emily Dickinson (1830-1886) American poet.

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