A fallen star.....

4 Comments

Tags:
  • Emotion
    • ,
  • Yearning
    • ,
  • Confusion
    • ,
  • Darkness

    Poem Commentary

    I was listening to a very wonderful piano and symbol musical while walking the streets, it touched me and thus I came up with this poem that flowed within me as I feel into the music...

    A fallen star.....

     Your eyes....
    The sun....
    The moon....
    Your fallen star...
    Has fell....upon...my hands
    No longer in the dark...
    This light....
    Your sun....
    Your moon....
    This fallen star...
    Has fell...upon...my hands
    It has left me blind...

    Your smile...
    The sky...
    The clouds...
    Your fallen star...
    Has fell...upon...my hands
    Reminds me of my cry...
    This light...
    Your sky...
    The clouds...
    This fallen star...
    Has fell...upon...my hands
    It has saved my life...

    This day upon the moon....has been left in twilight.
    Dismay has left me in the dark.

    The fallen star beyond....vanished beneath my highlights.
    Dismay has left me in the dawn.

    No fawn beyond the dark...shall ever breach my insight
    Dismay in shadows of your heart.

    In the dark I hear your heart beat....I try to find a sign.
    Dismay in shadows far apart.

    But then...it stops...as I became that darkness.
    Dismay equaled as I cry.

    No dawn...no day...I'm always left in twilight.
    Dismay in dreams I ask, why?

    My eyes...
    Your smile...
    My sun...
    Your fallen star...
    Has fell...upon...the lands
    Eclipses upon this life...
    Your light...
    My moon...
    Your eyes...
    Your fallen star...
    Has fell...upon...the lands
    Not meant to be this time....?

    My eyes...
    The sun...
    The moon...
    My fallen star...
    Has fell...upon...your hands
    Left longer in the dark...
    This light...
    My sun...
    My moon...
    This fallen star...
    Has fell...upon...your hands
    Yet you remain blind..........................

    Poem Comments

    (4)

    Please login or register

    You must be logged in or register a new account in order to
    leave comments/feedback and rate this poem.

    Login or Register

    Kanicki commented on A fallen star.....

    10-09-2010

    Beautiful poem - must have been sweet music to inspire such inviting lyrics. Good Work. Thanks. Peace and Light
    Reply to Comment

    Teardrops commented on A fallen star.....

    05-04-2010

    You draw me into the night to see the light of a fallen star. Beautiful poem thanks for the read Marie
    Reply to Comment

    Altair commented on A fallen star.....

    05-01-2010

    Wow dream, this is a very intriguing poem, very song like, I had to read it a few time to catch the natural flow of it, I dabble a bit in piano so that helped alot, the manner in which you created this is powerful, almost dreamlike in a realistic setting of thoughts in one's life. I really loved this one...faves
    Reply to Comment

    dreamscape

    05/04/2010

    Thank you Altair...such a sweet compliment. I am not surprised to see that you had caught the music in my lyrics and i'm glad you liked it. That is more than enough for me, sorry it took so long to respond, work has been crazy. ;-)

    mustascheman commented on A fallen star.....

    04-28-2010

    Interesting verse construction. Different yet effective. When I saw the tags you left for this piece I was expecting to read something 'dark'. In a way I guess there is a dark undertone, but not what I thought it would be. I'm not unpleased by reading this poem for it is quite good. In fact, I'll have to go check out some of your other work. I only ask in return that you venture over to my page for some browsing. If you like dark, humorous, really dark and sometimes evil poetry then you'll dig my work. Thanks, A.T.
    Reply to Comment

    dreamscape

    04/28/2010

    Thanks again M&M, my style of writing I really don't have, sometimes i get ideas from other poets I enjoy, I am still fairly new to writing, but this poem is completely me, I just wrote to the music in my head so it may seem a little out of proportion to the reader, but rest as a beautiful melody in my head. :)

    When power leads man towards arrogance, poetry reminds him of his limitations. When power narrows the area of man's concern, poetry reminds him of the richness and diversity of existence. When power corrupts, poetry cleanses.

    John F. Kennedy (1917-1963) Thirty-fifth President of the USA

    dreamscape’s Poems (5)

    Title Comments Submitted
    Title Comments Submitted
    A fallen star..... 4 04/28/2010
    The Morning In lieu of Dreamscapes..
    .    		 4 04/25/2010
    Addiction a treasonous Affair... 6 03/18/2010
    My thoughts strike my temple... 9 02/19/2010
    As I close my eyes to write...... 7 02/19/2010
    Top of Page