Sudden Spirals

Oh how fast the mood switches up
I feel restless, happy, I put on makeup
It's so perfect, so rare, I'm a princess, I'm fierce
I can take on the world
Pumped up playlist
17 selfies later: I don't like that picture
I look stuck up
I look like a cheerleader
I'M NOT A CHEERLEADER
Angry upset playlist
I shouldn't have put on all this makeup
Why did I think I could pull this off?
No! I'm spiraling again
Look at my fat, I'm never gonna lose it all
I'm never gonna be perfect
Depressed playlist
LET ME SAY WHAT I WANT ABOUT MYSELF
I KNOW WHAT I AM AND WHAT I'M NOT
THIS IS MY OPINION, NOT SOMEONE ELSE'S
I'm out of control now, I can feel it
Anyone would think I was crazy
An hour ago I thought I was a princess
Now I'm tearing myself down
What is wrong with me? What IS wrong with me?
Who could love someone so unstable?
The smallest comment about my appearance
Sends me into a depressive spiral
Don't call me a princess, only I'm allowed to say it
If you say it, it'll set me off, but it's not your fault
You should just leave me, it won't get better
I know my days are limited
You'll get tired of my sudden spirals one day
You'll walk out and I won't even have to ask why
It'll be after a spiral. You'll say we need to talk
I'll still be depressed, but you'll walk out the door
You'll say you just can't handle It
You feel like you're walking on eggshells
You can't say anything to me and you're exhausted
I get it. It happens. Just go.
Maybe I'll spiral far enough to die before then
Because I can't take another person walking out.