My Heart

3 Comments

My Heart

My heart what have you won or lost what was the cost,
 at first it was like the sky, until you ask youself why,
 should I do or die, or should I just tell a lie, the joy
and pain is hard to explane, your heart tries to reframe
but the joy overrides te pain, oh the joy you bring it makes
my spirit sing, and in time you look for deaths sting when there's
no more joy or happiness love bring,
 you only look back at an old gold ring,
to remind yourself how far you have been,
and each day you try not to sin, but you know that's
how it all began between a woman and a man, was
this really your plan, or just how it will end, being lovers and
friends.

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dumplin commented on My Heart

11-05-2009

Although there are quite a few spelling errors, this is nicely written. I've taken a liking to this style of writing.

bforibus commented on My Heart

11-05-2009

a few mispells in this piece but it didnt take away from the beauty of this poem. great job on the flow and visuals.

dwightsmith

11/05/2009

thanks for your time and what you said about my peice

bluewolf commented on My Heart

11-05-2009

My only suggestion is to format the poem to where it is easier to read. There are no defining stanzas, making the poem read more as a paragraph than poem. Otherwise good job.

dwightsmith

11/05/2009

thanks

The true philosopher and the true poet are one, and a beauty, which is truth, and a truth, which is beauty, is the aim of both.

Ralph Waldo Emerson, American Poet (1803-1882)

dwightsmith’s Poems (3)

Title Comments
Title Comments
My Heart 3
My Heart 0
look Around and See 0