I am alone

 My fate to the end it seems.

I am to die this way? I am to live this way? Love is something I cannot seem to know for any length of time

 I am alone

I stand here without her, without even knowing if she cares for me as I do her

I am alone

Every moment without her is an eternity of agony. I stand on the brink of my abyss, I stare into it’s darkness and yet fear does not engulf me, darkness is my life, and far less painful than the loneliness I feel now.

I love her with all my heart, and cannot speak to her of my pain, for I feel her own pain growing everyday, as mine does. Oh what cruel fate to love someone, to want them with the very core of your being, as if she were the one you were meant to find in this world, and to be unable to tell her how much pain you were in without her and not add to her own pain.

I am alone

I sit here without even the constant of unfamiliar voices in the day to numb my pain. My soul is in agony knowing that I cannot see her everyday, that I cannot hold her and by doing so, tell her and myself, that everything is going to be alright. No there is no balm for me, no peace to be found, for unless I hold her what peace is worth having? Unless I can love her, and have her love, what point is there in living?

I am alone

What reason to live if love eludes you at every turn? I stand here, pondering on my fate, my death, and I see that I am to always be alone. A cruel thing, for being alone, without love is my only fear, I dread a life in which I cannot love, in which those I love leave, and I die, not of the body, that death is certain, but the death of my desire to love and be loved.