Finger on the self destruct, trembling with despair,

Wondering why I always feel I'm never here nor there.

Looking out the window, watching life go by,

Feeling so much pain and I can't even cry.

My mind is institutionalized, my body just a shell,

My heart is so unhappy, I'd hate to unveil hell.

Imagining a needle that's entering my vein,

I see a rush come over me, suddenly-there's no pain.

If only it was so simple-I'd have done that yesterday,

In my eyes there is no color, only different shades of gray.

Myself I beat up daily-I needn't an abuser,

Not giving much care, I'm nothing but a loser.

You may try to argue, just to be polite,

But please don't waste your breath-I will win this fight.