I guess it wasn't enough
It isn't as though I didn't try..I tried listening,
I heard your cries and I heard your laughter.
I heard your trials and rejoiced in your victories.
I listened with the heart of a child, and the soul of a
friend.
I tried seeing,
I watched sunsets by the beach, wondering about the
beauty of a true friend.
I saw the pain in your eyes, even when you hid it.
I saw the love in your heart when you fell in love.
I saw the tears in your eyes when life left you alone.
I tried changing,
I tried being more of a friend than I was,
I tried quieting my own fears to hear yours.
I tried consoling you instead of me.
I tried being the redwood in the midst of your fern
garden of friends.
I tried quieting my own emotional demons to suit you.
But alas, it wasn't enough.
I was not good enough.
I was too much of a jerk.
I was too much trouble, my moods were to unbalanced.
My medicine wasn't enough to keep you as my friend.
It was all in vain, I was just not enough.
So you said you had enough; no calls, no coffee. Just
a text message. That was all our 10 year friendship
meant.
So I tried but I failed. I lost, you I guess gained.
The tears have long since dried, the pain has being numbed, and the heart... well it will heal. But I will never be a friend like the friend I tried to be with you.
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