Guilty

 Wish I knew just the right things to say?

Maybe then shit would go my way?

So I let myself feel all the pleasure

And

Then

The

PAIN!

From everybody else’s drama banging around

Like a pinball in my brain-

An endless circle, numbing the sadness

Right back in the vein

Trying to please you so  what for?

Wondering if there is a vague chance

To briar the judging door

No more closer than I was back as a child

All my dreams and goals seem exiled

Lonesome company for such eggshell minds

Who knows what is for sure

Except the beauty of what’s innocent & pure

Perhaps its all to simple too soft to chew

To take it away from me and turn it into you

Somewhere along the way, something went wrong

Because once I believed

It was the kindness in my heart

That sang a song

A medley for my secret yearning

For someone’s touch

Just to hear myself in belief

Telling you I LOVE YOU VERY MUCH

But…

Alas, words do me no justice

Nor do they mean anything to you

I am left defenseless, Guilty of everything that you

do

Iam sorry to care

Because now I’m feeling a little too much

Like the rest, sacrificed on the altar-

Life was meant to be lived and instead

It has become just another test

No wonder I feel the sickness that is fed

By lies

Don’t blame me for the truth you see

In my eyes

In time it all dies!