Evaporated

4 Comments

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  • Family

    Evaporated
    when i see you , i am beyond rendering
    my spirit is nauseated by your presence
    the chill of solitude proves hindering
    my flesh ripples upon the surface
    scatterbrained, my state of mind
    thoughts getting lost nowhere to be found
    your there in the disdain not far behind
    trying your best to bring me further down

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    dahlusion commented on Evaporated

    03-09-2009

    This poem, in my opinion, is pointless. If I had penned this one, I would have thrown it away as it is laced with high school like verbiage. And if you continue to insult the winners on this site then maybe you should find another site that suites your better than thou attitude or maybe change your destructive comments to constructive critique so that everyone, even you, benefits from them.
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    xxlheart commented on Evaporated

    02-04-2009

    i agree, this poem is at least a nine and a ten in my eyes. i liked the rhyme scheme and the blunt message. excellent piece!
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    When power leads man towards arrogance, poetry reminds him of his limitations. When power narrows the area of man's concern, poetry reminds him of the richness and diversity of existence. When power corrupts, poetry cleanses.

    John F. Kennedy (1917-1963) Thirty-fifth President of the USA

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