Not only are you lonely, you deny that you're alone.  Speculating, contemplating into your own calculating. 

Not willing to risk your desolation to fellowship with Christ; you'd rather submit to idle prattle rather than the Ultimate Price!

 Jesus said, "I set before you life and death, blessings and cursings...choose Life!"  How is it you choose to end your life like Adam, before you begin to live? 

How fickle are the feelings of a lost humanity.  Continuing on in false bravado and not in control of vanity.  Believing false evidences that deceivingly appear as real... not understanding that satan's influences are sent to rob and steal and kill.

 Believing that control is in our finite hands.  Undermining God's eternal existence, where finality is man's.

 What a friend we have in Jesus is not just a long lost lullabye.  He's the Gift of Life God gave to mankind, to restore us at His Side. 

"Choose Life" He said, not willing that any should perish or die.  I often ponder within myself, and ask the question...why? 

Why would anyone elect the choice to be severed from eternal life?  And make the choice of futility and choose to eternally die?