A Flame of Ice
This flame that should burn is frozen to ice
This heart that should beat is motionless in time.
"Hold onto the cold," these whispers did moan.
"It will comfort you, I promise.
There's no place left to go."
"Let go of the sun!" it screams in my ears.
"Don't let it fool you! It's rays are naught but empty fears!"
I listened unwillingly to this ghost of a man,
I followed instruction. "It hurts! Please, I can't!"
I screamed as loud as my voice would allow me
"You don't understand! This is what I dream!"
Then it screams once again in response to my pain,
"They'll leave you, you know! Your dreams are in vain!"
"Do you want to become what these lies contradict?
Do you want to be nothing? Do you still want to listen?"
I couldn't think, I was torn not knowing which path would heal.
I can't decypher my thoughts, I don't know what's real.
"If everything I've known has been nothing but lies,
How do I know that you are my ally?
Where do I follow if you are to lead?
If those rays are so hollow, why is it you I should believe?
I couldn't take hearing what this ghost had to say.
But then why can't I turn and run the other way?
I know the answer, but I don't know what to do.
"You know that I'm only listening because I love you."
"I love you, too." The whispers now crooned
"You've known that all along, why are you so confused?
I'm all that you have, you know that I'm right.
So why do you argue? Why do you fight?"
The beautiful voice filled much of my mind
But I didn't let it overpower my judgement this time.
"I don't think that you love me, the way that you say.
Leave me alone!" I screamed. "Just go away!"
I suddenly knew that his words were false.
I raced back to reality, back toward the place where my family calls.
"You lied to me!" I said, as I sprinted back home.
"You were the one lying all along!"
"I'm not blind anymore, and I won't let you win!
It's over for good! I won't let you back in!
Just leave me be, but remember I will love you.
In fact I forgive all your flaws and untruths."
The ghost started fading as my words flew from me,
"I hope that your health is good, that someday you're happy.
But don't ever try to bring your presence around
I'm done with you!" I finished, then soon: no more sound.
I didn't hear him breathing anymore in my ears
Poisoning my judgement, causing me tears.
And now time has passed since I've returned home.
I've healed, I can see, I'm no longer alone.
There was a time when lies were the truth in my mind,
But now I know better, and the sun,
As I once thought, is honestly kind.
I've promised myself that I'll find better in the next.
This promise, I know, is a promise I've kept.
For, now the only whispers I hear when I dream
Are the words I've always longed for,
Are the words that I need.
"You are all you have, but I want you to see
That if you need help, you can come to me.
My arms are your haven, if you choose this to be.
But I won't make your choices, no matter the difficulty.
"I won't stand in the way when you need to find answers,
If you like, I will help you, but you must ask first.
Don't worry so much about what's wrong with me,
If you do, though, I understand, I worry as much if not more for you as you do for me."
This man is no ghost like the last I had known
I can see him as plain as the light of the sun.
His smile a miracle, his voice like a dream.
He's made my life livable, he's sewn up the seams.
So if your flame is as frozen as Antarctica's shores
And the beat of your heart doesn't beat anymore;
If you ever hear someone tell you to run
Away from the beautiful light of the sun,
Run where they say you shouldn't be present,
Turn them away, don't let them win this event.
They are wrong and it's only about the control.
Don't let them push you away to the snow.
I know what if feels to be conquered with no choice.
Don't play my part, raise up your voice.
It's all up to you where your life's journey leads,
Don't be the fool, make them disappear with the breeze.
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